Small Business Can

All,

This may not be exactly related to- or appropriate to a business forum, however since it deals with banks and is absolutely funny, I post this in the hope it will bring a smile to everybody's face who reads this. So this is my good news story for the day. I received it by e-mail from a very good friend of mine.

THE TIMES - LETTER OF THE YEAR:

A SENIOR MOMENT...
(I PRAY THAT I HAVE THEM LIKE THIS...)

An elderly lady actually wrote this letter to her bank.
The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in The Times and this newspaper thanked him most sincerely.

Dear Sir,

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavoured to
pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three 'nanoseconds' must
have elapsed between his presenting the cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it. I refer, of course, to the automatic
monthly deposit of my Pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in
place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief
window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account £30 by way of
penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.

I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and
letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal,
overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become. From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My
mortgage and loan payments will therefore and hereafter no longer be
automatic, but will arrive at your bank by cheque, addressed personally and
confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an offence under the Postal Act for any other person to
open such an envelope.

Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your
chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order
that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is
no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history
must be countersigned by a Solicitor, and the mandatory details of his / her
financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he / she
must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28
digits but, again, I have modelled it on the number of button presses
required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As
they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons
as follows:

1-- To make an appointment to see me.
2-- To query a missing payment.
3-- To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
4-- To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
5-- To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
6-- To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
7-- To leave a message on my computer (a password to access my computer is required. A password will be communicated to you at a later date to the
Authorized Contact.)
8-- To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 8
9-- To make a general complaint or inquiry, the contact will then be put on
hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an
establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous, New Year.

Your Humble Client


Addendum from The Editor:

IMPORTANT to REMEMBER that this letter was written by a lady who is a
90 year old woman...

DOESN'T SHE MAKE YOU PROUD?

An American, a Dutchman and a Chinese strand after a shipwreck on an uninhabited island.

The American says: "I've been in the army for many years, I know how to survive. So if you guys don't mind, I'll give the orders". The Dutchman and Chinese find it very well. The American goes further: "Ok, each of us will will have to search for something. You, Chinese guy, take care of the supplies. Dutch guy, you take care of the food, and I'll take care of the wood. In two hours we'll meet back here." Everyone finds it a good plan and they go their own ways.

After 2 hours the American and the Dutchman are on the agreed spot. The Chinese is, however, nowhere in sight. They wait still a couple of hours and as the Chinese still doesn’t arrive, they get worried. They decide to search for him. Some hours later they have combed the complete island, but no Chinese found.

Thinking that he might have been eaten by a wild animal, they sadly decide to go back. Arrived at the spot, they sit down, looking despondently at their stuff, as suddenly the Chinese jumps from the shrubs and calls: "Supplies!!!"

Seems nobody likes our jokes Rudy!

I suppose that means we have to terminate this experiment and find some other way of entertaining the visitors on a Friday. Or is this a very subtle rebuke, even more subtle than the one issued by Greg earlier this week to somebody who transgressed ?

Nice one Rudy.
F

Ok then, back to the funnies:

Perhaps these can take the place of the existing 'words of wisdom' up top?

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.

Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

If you lend someone 20 euro, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.

Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Fair play to yous thats what we need sometimes a good laugh!!!

Teacher: If I gave you 2 rabbits , and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven Sir
Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 rabbits , and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven
Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 rabbits , and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven!
Teacher: Where the hell do you get seven from?
Johnny: Because I f****king have 1 at home.

Hello Blimp,

Your post should have come with a health warning. It's been a while since I laughed so much. Thanks !!

In fairness, whilst I think it's a tonic, for the sake of staying with the program, perhaps we should instigate a rule that we can only post "funnies" on a Friday between the hours of .... and .... ?

And it sure did just that.....

Humour across the globe

We asked everyone participating in LaughLab to tell us which country they were from. We analysed the data from the ten countries that rated the highest number of jokes. The following ‘league table’ lists the countries in the order of how funny they found the jokes:

Most funny

Germany
France
Denmark
UK
Australia
The Republic of Ireland
Belgium
USA
New Zealand
Canada

Least funny

Fascinating differences also emerged between nations in terms of the jokes they found funny. People from The Republic of Ireland, the UK, Australia and New Zealand expressed a strong preference for jokes involving word plays, such as:

Patient: “Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum.”
Doctor: “I've got some cream for that.

Americans and Canadians much preferred gags where there was a sense of superiority – either because a person looked stupid, or was made to look stupid by another person, such as:

Texan: “Where are you from?”
Harvard grad: “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.”
Texan: “Okay – where are you from, jackass?”

Finally, many European countries, such as France, Denmark and Belgium, liked jokes that were somewhat surreal, such as:

An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote:
“Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”
The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”
“But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all.”

These European countries also enjoyed jokes that involved making light of topics that often make us feel anxious, such as death, illness, and marriage. For example:

A patient says: “Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: “Could you please pass the butter.” But instead I said: “You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life”.”

Interestingly, Germany was the exception. Germans did not express a strong preference for any type of joke - this may well explain why they came first in our league table of funniness – they do not have any strong preferences and so tend to find a wide spectrum of jokes funny.

The Germans have a sense of humour ????? I have heard it all now.

Then again, was recently watching the background story of Fawlty Towers and I am sure most of us if not all of us remember the episode with the german guests. Apparently they did some sort of a survey and found that not only did a majority of Germans not take offence at the episode, they actually thought it was quite funny.

So there you are, the Germans do have a sense of humour as confirmed by two surveys.

If you had purchased $1000.00 of AIG stock one year ago, it would now be worth $56.91.

With Washington Mutual, you would have $120.36 left of the original $1000.

With 'Fannie Mae'(FNM), you would have $11.34 left.

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Lehman Bros one year ago it would now be almost worthless; less than $0.86.

But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling
refund you would have $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. This is called the 401-Keg Plan. Environmentally and fiscally responsible.

A man flying in a hot air balloon realizes he is lost. He reduces his
altitude and spots a man in a field down below. He lowers the balloon
further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, about 30 feet above
this field."

"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.

"I am. How did you know?"

"Everything you told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone."

The man below says, "You must be in management."

"I am. But how did you know?"

"You don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now
it's my fault."

A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Mum' With the worst premonition, she opened
the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear Mum.

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing to you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Mum. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mum, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love,
your son,
- Nicholas.

P.S. Mum, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on my desk"

I love you!

Call when it is safe for me to come home.

I just laughed my eyes red.... I've been working so damn hard the last few weeks building this new business; listening to a lot of real sad stories from folks and their businesses. Last week one proprietor after 22 years in business, walked out of her shop, gave the keys to a neighbour, drove 4 hours to Dublin and checked herself in...... so it's a bit rough out there at the moment. These days I come home after a long, long drive from some remote business quiet with thought. Anyway these jokes were REALLY funny!

Ok Blimp, you are hereby nominated to provide a funny every Friday and post it on this site. All in favour say Ay!

Aye Aye Ca'pn

Just joined. You got anymore of this. First time in weeks I have actually laughed.

Hello Nettles,

The unwritten rule is that we only add to this post on Friday, so, I suggest to check back tomorrow. I am sure we will have some more by then.

Glad it did what we set out to do.

I got this joke from my Russian agent this morning ;

Old joke about Russian business to sell a bag of sugar for a bag of money.
First you make a deal, then you run searching for sugar and I run searching for cash.

This (Blonde) fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some
trees in his backyard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about
various chainsaws.

The dealer tells him, "Look, I have a lot of models, but why
don't you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get
the top-of- the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred
cords of wood for you in one day."

So, the man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the
trees.After cutting for several hours and only cutting two
cords, he decides to quit. He thinks there is something wrong
with the chainsaw. "How can I cut for hours and only cut two
cords?" the man asks himself. "I will begin first thing in the
morning and cut all day," the man tells himself.

So, the next morning the man gets up at 4 am in the morning and
cuts and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and still he only
manages to cut five cords.

The man is convinced this is a bad saw. "The dealer told me it
would cut one hundred cords of wood in a day, no problem. I will
take this saw back to the dealer," the man says to himself.

The very next day the man brings the saw back to the dealer and
explains the problem. The dealer, baffled by the man's claim,
removes the chainsaw from the case. The dealer says, "Hmm, it
looks fine."

Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the man
responds, "What's that noise?

A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST DEALS.'

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST PRICES.'

The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read 'MAIN ENTRANCE'.

And now for the golfers.....

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

Boom Boom!

Just spotted this one..... dont blame me, but I laughed!

a man goes to the doctors, he says “i just cant stop singing delilah!” the doc looks him over and says “you’ve got Tom Jones syndrome” “is it a rare condition?” asks the man “well its not unusual” replies the doc!

5 Min Managment Lesson:


Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'


After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.


The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'



Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.



Lesson 2:


A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.



Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'


Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4


An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.




Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients..'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough str ength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch..

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.


Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..



Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.


Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

I have a load of these lol

Call center convo:

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden
the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm so what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept
anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a
TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again
and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely
into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean
way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -
it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I
have is coming in from the window.
' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it
licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it
up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a
computer!!!!!

Cancel your credit card!


Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so
priceless And so easy to see happening - customer service, being what it
is today!

A lady died this past January, and MBNA bank billed her for February and
March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and Then
added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance that had been
0.00, now is somewhere around 60.00.

A family member placed a call to the MBNA Bank:

Family Member:
'I am calling to tell you that she died in January.'

MBNA:
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still
apply.'

Family Member:
'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'

MBNA:
'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'

Family Member:
So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

MBNA:
'Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to The
credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member:
'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

MBNA:
'Excuse me?'
Family Member:
'Did you just get what I was telling you . . . The part about her Being
dead?'

MBNA:
'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member:
'I'm calling to tell you, she died in January.'

MBNA:
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still
apply.'

Family Member:
'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

MBNA:
(Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member:
'No, I'm her great nephew.'
(Lawyer info given)

MBNA:
'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

Family Member:
'Sure.'
( fax number is given )

After they get the fax:

MBNA:
'Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I Can do
to help.'

Family Member:
'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing
Her. I don't think she will care.'

MBNA:
'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.'

Family Member:
'Would you like her new billing address?'

MBNA:
'That might help.'

Family Member:
' Glasnevin Cemetry, Finglas Road, Dublin 11, Ireland, Plot Number
1049.'

MBNA:
'Sir, that's a cemetery!'

Family Member:
'Well, what the **** do you do with dead people on your planet?'

CV of the year!!

This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s restaurant in Florida; and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and ‘post-it’ notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

AVAILABLE FOR WORK: Of course. That’s why I’m applying.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 – 3:30pm., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UPTO 50lbs?: 50lbs. of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be the winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no, on my breaks, yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

Just tell me if im posting to many!

An Cavan man walked into a bank in Dublin and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer
he was going to Italy on business for two weeks and
needed to borrow €5,000. But that he was not
a depositor of the bank.

The bank's loan officer told him the bank would need
some form of security for the loan, so the Cavan man handed over
the keys to a brand new red Ferrari.

The car was parked on the street in front of the
bank. The Cavan man produced the title and everything
checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car
as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to
charge him 12% interest.

Later, the bank's president and its officers all
enjoyed a good laugh at the Cavan man for using a
€250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a €5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari
into the bank's underground garage and parked it.

Two weeks later, the Cavan man returned, repaid the
€5,000 and the interest of €23.07.

The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to
have had your business, and this transaction has
worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we did a background check
and found that you are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow €5,000?"

The Cavan man replied, "Where else in Dubliln
can I park my car for two weeks for only €23.07
and expect it to be there when I return?"